obot jokes

I'm slow to the party on this one. An obot is an Obama Robot.

OBOT LOGIC
Two Obots living in California were sitting on a bench talking, and one Obot says to the other, ‘Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?’ The other Obot turns and says ‘Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????

CAR TROUBLE
An Obot pushes his BMW into a gas station. He tells the mechanic it died. After the mechanic works on it for a few minutes, it’s idling smoothly. The Obot says, ‘What’s the story?’ The mechanic replies, ‘Just crap in the carburetor.’ The Obot asks, ‘How often do I have to do that?’

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops an Obot for speeding and asks him very nicely to see his license. The Obot replied in a huff, ‘I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!’

RIVER WALK
There’s this Obot out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another Obot on the opposite bank. ‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts, ‘How can I get to the other side?’ The second Obot looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, ‘You ARE on the other side.’

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the Obot behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, ‘PULL OVER!’
‘NO!’ the Obot yelled back, ‘IT’S A SCARF!’

OBOT ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and an Obot were talking one day. The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!’ The American said, ‘We were the first on the moon!’ The Obot said, ‘So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!’ The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. ‘You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!’ said the Russian. To which the Obot replied, ‘We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!’

IN A VACCUUM
An Obot was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, ‘If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?’ She thought for a time and then asked, ‘Is it on or off?’

FINALLY, THE OBOT JOKE TO END ALL OBOT JOKES!
A girl was visiting her Obot friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The Obot responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, ‘Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?’ ‘HELLLOOOOOOO……,’ answered the Obot. ‘They’re watch dogs!